Nocturnal

So over the week I got the Novation Nocturn that I ordered. Its taken me around a day and a half off and on to learn how to map controls using the different modes. It has whats known as Automap for the VSTs and also has a native midi client so you can map your hosts controls as well. This was a must because I like to use the crossfader in ableton and one of the reasons I bought it was because it has a crossfader in a central location and of course its horizontal. The leds on it are really bright and its easy to see whats going on as you move around your set.

Automap works amazingly well and I'm glad that just mapping the controls isn't a constant headache like it seems to be in other usb midi controllers.

In other news I bought a pair of ellie shoes although not from that location and like 7 bucks less. I got them locally from "The Costume Shop". I also bought an adorable petticoat by "Living Dead Souls" at the same place.. Sorry couldn't find a pic.

I am so ready to get on hrt soon.

This makes me happy.

Whoo! Progress!

I went to a local transgender group meeting yesterday. Afterward we all out went out to eat. It was interesting but I feel out of my element with them. They are all at least 10 years older than me and I don't feel like I would have a lot to talk about with them otherwise. They are nice ladies though. I have an online support group of people that I have more in common with so thats ok.

I have also finally made progress on my latest mixes track order. So I should have a new mix out shortly.

Another cool thing is that I bought a domain name so now ezmyrelda.com points here. Yay!
All kinds of crazy stuff going on in my life!

So, I have a new therapist. She is a very awesome person. She has a statue of Green Tara in her office, and a Tibetan singing bowl. She is laidback.. and non stressful.. and hasn't told me once that I'm going to hell or tried to make me feel like I was trying to do something wrong. She gave me a list of resources for me to work with and my first appt is on the 11th. I'm super excited!

Tata

A first step. Truly.

So for all of my wild determination to forge straight ahead into my transition.  (Buying clothes, going out in public with out laser or electro, no hormones and a good 18 years past puberty), I feel like I will be taking my first real step in transition by speaking with a therapist tomorrow to see if she would be a helpful and healthy fit for me.. I'm getting older.. I'm not about to take crap from someone who believes I am wrong or perverse..   I'm perverse... But being a girl isn't a perversion. I just really hope that I don't I have to continue looking for a therapist.  

I feel like this will be the least interesting and most tedious part of transition, but it will definitly be needed...   I'm just more interested in finding an endocrinologist or getting laser done. I never was much for other people validating me.  

I knew when I was a child.. I just couldn't express it verbally.  I was also a social outcast dealing with the death of my father... So I had other crap going on.