I've come home tonight from a coming out party. Coming out to who or
what I hardly know. Leaving tonight I wanted to feel a sense of
togetherness; coming home I feel just as alone if not more than I've
ever felt. Nothing can displace me from this sense of solitude. I am
just as alone as I've always been. What the hell am I going to do with
a handful of lube when all I wanted is a warm hand or a backrub. Who
am I being strong for when the only person that has ever been my lover
is myself? I'm lonely. Really though, who gives an Eff? I'm tired of ... being a little girl. of being torn by my fathers death. of being
alone. I'm tired of being. alone. The more I want it to change; the
less it will. Tempered by fire. strengthened by solitude. Life sucks. and then you take 2 more milligrams of estriadol,
because.. fuck it. It's there.
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